Why I had my notifications turned off
I'm like you, I have an email address that I have forever it feels like. It's address, pastorjosh11. I mean you can call me super creative, but I already know. I've had that address for the last 16 years and a lot of spam comes into that address and not a lot of important emails either. For that reason, I never had that address send me notifications pushed to my phone when something comes in. But, When I got a work email address here at Faith, I had my phone notify me each time something came in. This was a noble idea at first, the thought that I would be aware of all the things happening at Faith. I would be able to address any needs that came up immediately in kids ministry. I could answer questions quickly from other staff whenever they would inquire. I mean seriously, did you know that I was that caring, on top of it, prepared, and efficient with my time and life? Say no more, I understand your feelings completely, you are proud of me. Aside from the awards I'm yet to receive for being that employee that answered emails quickly. I was the employee that had a quick all be it sometimes witty response to needs and concerns people would post. The reality of this issue is much deeper and affected me on a negative level I couldn't see clearly at first. That's why I wanted to write about why I turned those notifications off.
Thanks for continuing to read this piece, please come in and see the room where I harbor my issues. Yea, move that scar over and have a seat on the little value couch and we can talk about why my notifications are off. Here are some issues why I wanted my push notifications to my work email on.
* I found my value in my work.
* I had issues with not being in the know.
* I was worried people would get the wrong impression if I didnt answer.
* I felt I had to be the first to respond in order to paint the right picture.
* I felt I was the only one who could handle the issue.
* I thought I should be avaialble at all times.
Do you see where this list is headed. I mean it's really down to the I's. If this were a vote, the I's would have it for sure. But the voice that screams through these thoughts is not one of confidence or self control but one of low self value and insecurities. It was all about who I thought I was and who I wanted others to see me as. I know what you are thinking and I know it's just push notifications on my phone, and they are just work emails. I get all of those arguments, but for me it was evidence of things I needed to work on.
Here are some clarity items I'm realizing through this realization of push notifications.
* My value is ONLY found and identified through the gift of Jesus.
* I don't need to know everything.
* Honestly, peoples impressions of others are usually seen through the issues they carry and have dealt with in the past.
* My answering emails quickly is not a reflection on me.
* We have a great team and are capable of answering emails or concerns.
* Although I absolutely love what I do, I don't need to be available all the time.
* I'm thinkful for these small reminders that direct me back to the truth.
My hope, this helped you some. It's simple stuff like this that needs at times to be brushed away so we can see the truth.