The more I know, the less I actually do.
I know this picture might reveal my age and thats a risk I'm willing to take. I get it, it's not a risk with this much grey hair. Okay, I see your point and would politely ask you to move on. Seriously though, this image was one most people around my age grew up seeing on TV. It was the image to help us think or process new things. It was encouragement to learn more and grow in that learning. As I'm constantly reminded that the more I know, the less I actually do know. I know it's a cliche statement. The more I learn the less I realize I knew. But honestly, in high school and college, I thought I knew it all. I knew about finances and that showed by the massive debt I was in and car payments I had while putting dinners and dates on a credit card because it was a great way to build my credit. I knew about health which was easily seen by my body type and how fit I was. I was in a christian college so obviously I knew so much about theology and what was right and wrong and I was so quick to point out those that didn't know as much and those who had fallen from God. I knew all about families and raising children. I mean, no I didn't have my own but I knew exactly what your children needed and how you should raise your kids and what correction/instruction they needed. Really, I knew so much about things that I had obviously little grasp on and I was not afraid to be super vocal about it. I knew it all.
Here I am a 40 year old children's pastor that faces the reality of now knowing everything constantly. I still don't have the best grasp on finances and health. I am still swallowed by the overwhelming grace and love of God. I also have 3 girls of my own now and am daily reminded that I don't have it figured out and am still learning and even before they are teenagers where they begin to know everything. I know a fraction of what I thought I knew when I was younger and yet I have the most peace I've ever had and the most trust in what God is doing in my daily life.
Why did I write all of that out? Yes, I could have saved it all for the Simpson Christmas card that I send out to everyone letting them know what we are up to. But I wanted to write this to remind YOU, to remind YOU that it's okay not to know. It's okay to be unsure or unsteady. That it's okay that things didn't unfold the way you had planned or that conviction you once held so strongly to when you were younger has now changed, thats okay too. The thing that makes all of this questionable is because we are constantly bombarded by the filters others create to disguise the fact that they don't know either. Stop comparing yourself to the standards created by others. Live your life, be okay with not knowing. In fact, be okay with NOT knowing everything. You've got this!